Simple Rules For Women

Simple Rules Chick's Don't Know. Nothing says 'I love you' like a blowjob in the morning. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Don't make us guess. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present once again. Pub conversations usually involve sport, cars or the latest computer game and not women, except a passing mention to the office babe with big tits/tanned legs/pert butt. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it. He's never thinking about "The Relationship." Your mum doesn't have to be our best friend. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time. Shopping is not a sport. Anything you wear is fine. Really. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Share the bathroom. Share the closet. Most guys own two or three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers. Construction of St. Paul's Cathedral, The Golden Gate bridge and the Sydney Opera House are simple every-day tasks, washing and ironing are more difficult. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Taking things apart is easy, putting them back together however takes longer and there's bound to be something left over at the end. Nothing says 'I love you' like a blowjob in the morning. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometime. Check your own oil. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. It is neither your interest nor ours to take the quiz together. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, shotgun formation and carburettors. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. If you don't dress like a Baywatch babe, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are? Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, you saying, "This is our exit," is not strictly necessary. Nothing says 'I love you' quite like a blowjob in the morning.